Well Ive been locked inside my house now for 7 days I have gone out for odds and ends like food and other goods like new toilet seat and such I made a company choice the other day and. Closed my cafe down for 10 day's could have gone some were if I had Known that I was closing shop. Maybe next year sunny beach and hot ballmey weather. Any way I saw the chance to get some well deserved rest I had been running since my mom died had not even had the chance to take a pee. So I closed my door at work and I have not even gone to check on My sweet cafe.I love my cafe and my job it's alot of work and it can be very scary at times but it is mine and am the boss wow I can't believe that am really the boss.Any way back to staying home for 7 days there a couple of reason one I just did not even feel like it. Happy, happy, happy, what the fuck is so happy about It. No really am not saying at all to be a bahh hum bug I love the lights and the joy of it and all. But this was the first year with out my mom I miss her. Not that I have not spent X-mass alone before I have done that many times.. It's just I can't even call any more it seems so surreal I keep thinking that she just on a little trip right now and I will talk to her latter. Am so sick of crying cry for you cry for me. You would think by now I could cry me a river.. And it's been raining and raining I loved the rain but this rain could not bring me down any more....
Today the sun is shining I woke to my room being full of sun that was a nice surprise well I have been inside for many day's but I have managed to get some lone over due things done in my house between my mom dyeing and my new cafe and depression not any time and and just being over whelm ed my house looked like crap. Not only do I have enough crap of my own I inherited some more crap from the loss of my mother not saying that it was crap its just more stuff lord knows I don't need any more things... So on the up scale I have been spending day's going through crap I managed to fill my car with crap stuff that I have not worn for years let alone, I don't think I would want to were it if I could. It's feels so good to clean house. Well don't get me wrong my house is not fully clean I did do what my goal was.
My goal was to clean out my one closet and make It the laundry room which I thought would just take a couple of hours not true whole day and my other goal was to paint the bathroom it had not been painted since I move here. That was going to be an easy job I painted for a living for a year it's a small room it should not be any problem Got the closet done before the bathroom were ahead of things. Wrong took me Two days to paint that bathroom. I discovered that I really don't enjoy painting that much.
Boy was I glad that I took before and after pictures because it looked the same as it ever had. Looked so normal that it seemed I should not even have bothered. You will see what I mean do you think any one will even bother to sit down and read this whole story it's kind of hum drum.